The foundation of all relationships is Trust as we all know it. It is demonstrated differently in different relationships in our life. Though we talk about it differently in different situations, it all means the same. At times we may even sound opportunist - we do not want others to break our trust, we can do it. Not only do we have justifications for the same, but we also have reasons to do it . We may even prove our actions right in every possible manner. What is the reality of this Trust in Relationships in the current world and how does it affect us? Let us see some facts.
Trust in Relationships
There is always an element of trust in every relationship whether it is between spouses, parent-children, friends, relatives, or teams and that is the foundation of every relationship. When trust is high, the relationships do very well and when the trust is low, the bonding in the relationships falls apart leading to unhappiness and even parting ways. This is not only true in our personal life but also for workplaces. Unknowingly each one thinks their understanding and practice of trust is superior to others, which may not always be true. Relationship is two-ways, and both are equal.
Trust means Integrity?
Does Trust have anything to do with Integrity? Integrity to me means being true to self and to others and integrity gives power. It means living what one speaks which is also about walking the talk. When the talk matches the walk or vice-e-versa, the trust in the person enhances and people love to relate to that person and stay in their company.
The place of Values
Integrity is a Value. There are many Values and each one has a different set of values. There are good values and bad values, and they are subjective. To me values that have a greater good and do not hurt others or self are good to have values. Values that are narrowed for personal benefit only and may harm or hurt others are not so good to have values. A higher value system increases self-worth and the overall satisfaction of life, and a compromised value system increases the guilt in life leading to low self-esteem. The quality of our relationships is equally proportionate to our self-worth if you observe closely.
It is observed that certain practices change with every generation by and large. The acceptable behaviors change, the language changes, the body language changes and even the definition of some values change as per the convenience of the times. However, the spirit of the core human value system does not change such as truth is superior to lie, good is superior to bad, justice is superior to injustice, love is greater than lust. The younger generation may ridicule the older generations for their beliefs and the older generation may not be able to fathom the current generation’s thought process. However, the fact remains that both generations have to co-exist and find common grounds to keep the love in the relationships alive and for harmonious living. The tug of war is for what they believe to be right.
When values and beliefs are twisted and turned by individuals differently in different situations, it reflects the lack of clarity and compromised value system that may lead to poor decisions and sometimes end up in a great mess in life. Some examples are expectations in certain matters such as loyalty, respect, fairness, justice is different for self that of others, taking continuous unintelligent impulsive actions disregarding family and social sentiments, misleading others by manipulation or telling lies; all these things may lead to disasters in life sooner or later.
Betrayal has many colors!
When and why one feels betrayed cannot be judged or understood. Even a small misunderstanding may amount to betrayal. The relationship threads are so delicate that they have to be handled very carefully or else they break. Up to a certain age we are always excused for the mistakes we make; it is considered childish and immature. Often adults do not get such excuses and hence every care has to be taken to ensure that we do not reach a stage where we make blunders that others cannot forgive. Sometimes restoring relationships becomes very difficult.
Wrong is wrong even if a million are practicing it!
It is often seen people do certain things because others are doing them. What is right is right even if no one is following it and what is wrong is wrong even if millions are practicing it. Herd mentality does not work at all times. The one person who walks the path of truth travels a thousand miles with millions of followers at the end compared to thousands of those people going wrong path collapsing soon themselves and harming the whole system. There are many examples of this when we look around.
Pleasure vs Goodness
Things that are done for momentary pleasure may not always be good for us and what is good for us may not give any pleasure in the moment. In the spree of finding happiness; sometimes we lose people who are important in our life. Intelligent are those who choose things that are good for them over things that give momentary pleasure.
Being Genuine helps
At the end, being genuine helps. Saying “Sorry” genuinely, “Thank you” genuinely or anything else that is to be said works wonders and it only works when those words are really meant and lived. It is often seen “Sorry” is said in the flow which is followed by a “but….”. This does not count as the conflict still exists. The time when one genuinely puts things into practice, the restoration process begins even if things have gone wrong. So, if you believe relationships are important for you, you might also believe Trust is the core of it that should be always enliven.